what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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