Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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