it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
