Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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