covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
