"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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