if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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