how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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