kristin has been a bad kristin
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
