he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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