The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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