Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize