He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
