hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You may now shotgun with the bride
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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