me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
