i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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