its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
