and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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