He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
