Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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