then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I had to cum in my sink.
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