That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
