I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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