she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
