I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
