Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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