k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
