I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
