best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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