There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
