I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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