So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
