ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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