Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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