3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
