it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
