where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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