I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
