Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Randomize
