gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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