she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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