His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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