I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
