escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
