Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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