Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
only if we run a train.
done.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
