i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
