my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
