Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
