Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
