theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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