The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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