is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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