What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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