I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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