im having a threesome with these popsicles
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
