My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
