i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
How's work?
Spinning.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize