I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Randomize
