im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize