it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
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