sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
