Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
