butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
