Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize